E-mail thoughts

Larry Date: Fri, 2 Apr 2010 15:47:47 -0400

Ok, I have to tell you guys what happened to me today, or should I
say is happening. This has been so tough on all of us, and our emotions
and feeling have gone haywire out of control. One of the emotions I had
was not anger, but confusion that has I guess been making me angry, I find
myself cursing out loud under my breath, and not knowing what to do, or
where to go, but (yea I know try to follow along), not really knowing why I
felt like I have to do anything. Ok, so when I woke up this morning my whole
body was tingling, hard to explain, but it has been like this all day, and
the first thought that came into my head was, "Dude made it into heaven
today, he knew what he had to do, didn't want to, you know leaving us down here,
but for lack of any better explanation, he went to the light, and now
instead of watching with us, he is watching over us. I know it sounds crazy
but with all my heart and sole this is what I believe, and this is how I
feel! I still have a hard time controlling the emotions and all, but I have
this incredible, awesome feeling that Dude is at peace, happy and
comfortable in heaven. As I type this all my Velcro is standing on end, a little
sweat out the eyes and all that jazz.

Guys, I love all of you and I just wanted to share a little of what
was going on in my life today, maybe you guys are feeling the same
thing?
On another note, I forgot my cell phone at work, so I have none of
your numbers till tomorrow.

I love you all and we will be in touch.
Love
Bone

Scott Fri, Apr 2, 2010 at 3:58 PM,

A little anger and a lot of love. I know what you mean about not
knowing what to do with my emotions, maybe a little zanex or something. I
have been ready to punch someone over nothing for about 30 hours now. But
this too shall pass. I hope so because I really don't need my ass kicked on
top of all of this. Not without Dude to stand up for me. Tonight is my
first night back in the saddle. I will smile instead of cry tonight
imagining him barrelling around the office as if on the bridge of the USS Dude
during battle at sea. I sure do miss him but am really glad you are all
there too.
Love you all,
Kid



Chris Date: Fri, 2 Apr 2010 16:26:09 -0400

Bone - that is the exact thing I was trying to say at the church on
Wednesday!

And a weird thing has happened here at the house. I helped Dude redo
my master bath a few years ago (notice - I helped him, not the other
way around). We never got around to completing everything we wanted to
do and talked often of finishing it.

Usually Memorial Day weekend would be the time, but this year I made a
promise to everyone about not working because we did so much last year
(Barn doors, fence, slate patio & odds and ends).

Anyway, since then I have put in a new light fixture and I think Dude
was letting me know he would have liked to do it himself. Last
Thursday one of the lights was not working and I figured it was the

bulb, even though it's a fluorescent and should be lasting another 2-3
years. When we got back yesterday, the light was working again. When
Shannon was in the shower and got out it wasn't. When I went in, it was.

Say what you will, I think Dude is with us, in us and around us and we
just need to know where to look and feel for him.

much love to all,
'nik

Darlene Fri, Apr 2, 2010 at 11:27 PM

Hi, Meesh forwarded this to me. I added Lisa, Ron and Monty. Thanks
for including us.

Really cool. We were also saying that we feel so much more peaceful
today. It still feels very sad but just more peaceful.

Dad, Meesh and I spent a beautiful afternoon picking crabs and telling
stories with Lisa in Woodbury. Dad and Meesh took off and I spent the rest
of the afternoon with Lisa and the Lisa Chicks looking at pictures and
telling more stories. Lisa received a package that contained a set of wind
chimes with a poem about "Whispers From Heaven" when the wind blows through
the chimes.





Whispers from Heaven
When I left this world without you
I know it made you blue.
Your tears fell so freely, I watched: I know this is true.
While you were weeping,
Days after I passed away --
While all was silent within me,
I saw you kneel to pray.
From this wonderful place called heaven
Where all my pain is gone,
I send a gentle breeze to whisper,
"My loved ones, please go on."
The peace that I have found here
Goes far beyond compare.
No rain, no clouds, no suffering --
Just LOVE from everywhere.
You need not be troubled
Just stay close to GOD in prayer
Someday we'll be reunited
My love, HIS love surrounds you always,

EVERYWHERE

She hadn't hung the new chimes yet, but, as you know, there are many
pretty chimes on their back porch. I was asking again about how Dude and
Lisa met, how Dude proposed, their honeymoon cruise .... The conversation
led (not by me!) to, yes, you guessed it, their sex life. THE CHIMES WENT
NUTS.


Love, Dar

Lisa Apr 4, 2010 6:21pm

Hi everyone - my gmail doesn't work at home so I am my brother's and
finally got to read and watch all this.

I think I think he is on vacation somewhere. Everyone keeps saying I am
so strong but I'm really not. I don't know what I am going to do without
him as I'm crying writing this.

I am going to miss talking to him 2 or 3 times a day with him answering
or yelling actually "What up woman?"
I am going to miss his smile.
His sense of humor.
His considerateness.
His politeness.

His kindness.
His thoughtfulness.
His warmth.
His playfulness.
His hugs.
His kisses.

I keep asking myself is he really gone? He can't be. We had so much
time more to do. He wanted to touch all 7 continents and all 50 states. He
was close with the states and touched 5 out of 7 continents. Austrailia was
our next stop. I told him Antarctica would be tough unless we won the
lottery or he could hitch a ride with someone because it's expensive to go
there.


It's very comforting reading all this and know that we are all going
through the same thing.
I love the video that is attached - THANK YOU!

I am going to go now and be with my family but I will check in tomorrow.


Love to all,
Mrs. Dude

Chris Mon, Apr 5, 2010 at 12:07 PM

Hello everyone -

Lisa - I want to say that reading your email really moved me. I think I
can speak for everyone here when I say that you shouldn't think for a moment
that your vulnerability isn't palpably felt by all. And we all hope you will
lean on us for support as much as needed. We certainly will need each other
in the days, weeks, months and even years to come.

So here it is Monday morning and the first day that most of us are back to
real life. Please keep the thread going and continue to share. I would like
to open up a blog page with pictures, stories and linked videos if no one
has any objections. Something we can all moderate and add to as a more
intimate digital memorial that we collaborate on as we see fit. Please let
me know whether that's OK or even interesting to y'all...

much love,
'nik

Lisa Mon, Apr 5, 2010 at 1:51 PM
Hey Chris - the Blog sounds wonderful. This way if we come across something
in the future like video, pictures, notes, etc, we can post for everyone to
see. OR all this e-mailing back and forth will be on his blog.

Yeah this morning was not my best morning. Reality is setting in slowly. I
almost didin't come to work but I had to try and see if work would help.

I am back to work and it is helping. The people here are great.

I had saved a bunch of messages on our home voicemail of Dude yelling Woman!
but someone erased them the night of his 40th. :-(
Thank goodness I saved one at work that I can listen to when I need to hear
his voice.

I haven't washed his clothes yet and can't bring myself to do it. His glass
of water is still on his night stand. The Pepcid AC that he held right
before he died is on my nightstand. I haven't been able to throw it out.

The only way Lilly will go to sleep with me is if she has George's worn
clothes to snuggle. It was our ritual almost every night that all three of
us would go to bed together. I think she is still waiting for him to come
to bed.

Going back to work now.

Love,
Mrs. Dude

Meesh On Fri, Apr 9, 2010 at 9:55 AM

Hi Gang,
Ok, I'm finally in on this.
Chris, I tried to "paste" in all of the e-mail chains to the blog so that we can have it all in one place, but it wouldn't let me do it. Any pointers?
It is Friday again : (
I have taken the day off from school because I am just plain worn out.
This seems to be getting harder and more painful as the fog seems to clear and the true reality is seeping in.
I miss MY DUDE!
OK, my Dude story that Chris referred to earlier is this:
Tuesday, before the services, I was sitting at the the kitchen table with my Father, and we were both crying.
I looked up for a second and something caught my eye in the far doorway of the entrance to the living.
It is the doorway that I have hung light sets for my kids to celebrate every occasion imaginable since we have moved in with my Dad.
There have been Christmas, Valentine's, St. Patrick's Day (Our Mom's Birthday, by the way), flip-flop lights for Summer etc. You get the idea.
I was just preparing to hang the Easter egg lights when we received the news about Dude.
Anyway, I was at the kitchen table crying, and looked up to see this faint glimmer of green light. Just a little pin-point really, but as I watched it, it grew stronger and brighter until I had to go see what was causing it.
As I got closer, it began to "flutter and flicker" and very softly dimmed and then flashed brilliantly again.
When I got to the doorway, I saw that it was a tinsy-tiny piece of iridescent Christmas garland (put up over three "light sets" ago). Because the garland was iridescent, it had pink, purple, blue etc. colors on it, but the only "flash" that was radiating was the green light.
Believe what you will, but this gave me an instant sense of peace and I took it as a message from Dude. He was sending us this little burst of energy to get us through the days of pain we now face.
I wish I felt this peace right now.
I hope that you are all well, and please know that I love you all and could not have gotten this far without each and every one of you!
It is no surprise that Dude loved you all so much!
XOXOXO
Meesh

Jason Fri, 9 Apr 2010 10:37:53 -0500

Hey Meesh-
I was able to create a new post and included the full chain of this email.
If we want to clean up the formatting or post it another way,
I'll be happy to work on it later or over the weekend.

Missing Dude too.
Thinking about how best to honor the man, I considered what it meant to be Dude.
We are all familiar with his qualities, so I won't list them here again.
How can I honor him?
Well, I can't be Dude- I still have no idea how he pulled it off.
But I can be more Dude-like in my day-to-day.
Carry a bit of him with me, and approach the world as I think he would.

That helps me some.

In that spirit,
Love to you all-
J

Scott

I haven't had time to master the blog part but I love reading your thoughts. All of you. Dude is in all of us now, that is his legacy. I never thought of it as "What would Dude do"? before, but I have heard a few of you say or ask that recently. I have on my own, incorporated some of his "Do the right thing" attitude into more of my day to day now. I am not sure of the best way to honor him either but I can say that if we are all loving each other of which without him, I likely would not have the blessing of your friendships that I do have today, then that is a great way that he will be honored by me for the rest of my days. I now honor you, which honors him.